Alan Greenspam

The more I hear about Alan Greenspam the more I ask myself “What the heck is going on?” Do you realize there isn’t a politician in America who doesn’t love Alan Greenspam? Is this a healthy situation? John McCain, in response to a trick question told Imus, the shrewd interrogator, that if he, McCain, were elected President he would hug Greenspam. I heard him say, “I will hug Alan Greenspam.” Everyone jumped on the bandwagon in the months prior to the first election of George W. Al Gore, Bill Bradley, too many to name, have said, “I will hug Alan Greenspam.” Republicans joining Democrats. Left joining Right? Conservatives kissing up to Liberals? Even President Clinton, we all know about his preferences, embraced Greenspam.
But it’s not just politicians. Ace reporter Andrea Mitchell wanted to be more than just another “I will hug Alan Greenspam” groupie. She married him. Now investors refer to her as “the source close to the horse” and carefully watch the shape of her coiffure, the color of her lipstick and the topography of her chest for clues as to whether interest rates will sag or soar. I wonder when we will be able to buy a book to help interpret her subtle signs the way gypsies read tea leaves. Although crafty Imus dug the hugging admission from McCain, he’s been unsuccessful in his attempts to pilfer Al’s financial intentions from Andrea.
There are other puzzlers. Do you ever wonder why the Chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System and Mrs. Chairman are referred to as “America’s Sweethearts? Haven’t heard that?
Come to the DC MOCKINGBIRD next week and I’ll tell you more.